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The Importance of Play.

9/20/2018

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Welcome to our COMMUNITY BLOG! Throughout the year we will feature information, updates, and resources from the people who work with our children in our community. 

This entry, all about how children learn through play, is brought to you by Gladys Lazurek, Director of  Derby Day Care Center and co-chair of the Valley Directors Network. 

I have heard parents say to me, “All they do is play.”  What they don’t realize is that a child’s work is play.  Children learn through play. 

     For example, a group of children were playing in the block area one day with the hollow blocks.  They arranged a number of blocks on the floor at random and then proceeded to stack them.  The children figured out that the longer block would not stay put on top of the shorter one unless they put another block under it.  Someone suggested they build “a carnival”.  Within minutes they were walking on the blocks, “doing tricks”.  Then the blocks became transformed into a “motorcycle”.  Two children got on to take a ride.  Another child wanted to ride.  They decided to take turns.  They pretended to go to the store.  Someone ran to get a piece of paper and a pencil to write a grocery list.  As you can see, the children were learning a number of skills. 

Through using blocks children:

  • learn math concepts such as the number of blocks that fill a certain space.
  • compare the height of their buildings and learn about geometric shapes (triangles, squares, and rectangles).  
  • explore weight and size.  
  • make decisions about how to build a structure or solve a construction problem.   
  • work together and learn to cooperate and make friends.  
  • develop language.

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Children use dramatic play to gain a better understanding of their world.  

When children make believe they:

  • develop a good vocabulary.  
  • learn to cooperate with others and solve problems
  • are able to think abstractly.  For example, to play doctor, the child needs to remember what tools the doctor uses, how the doctor examines the patient, and what a doctor says.  

 When children use toys and games such as puzzles or lego, they:

  • explore how things work
  • learn to be creative and use their imaginations 
  • strengthen and control the small muscles in their hands
  • work cooperatively and solve problems
  • learn math ideas and concepts.  

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At Home: 

Enjoy your child, allow them to experiment and play.  Ask them questions that cause them to think.  Toys don’t have to cost a lot; many things you already have in your house are good tools for learning.  For example, boxes make good blocks.  Collections of things such as buttons, shells, and rocks can be used to sort or to make things.  Old clothes, food cartons, and homemade play money are good for pretend play.

When you play with your child you are investing in the future.

The next time you think that “All they do is play,” remember that when children are playing they are learning.

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Readiness for School: The Social and Emotional Connection

9/18/2018

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Welcome to our COMMUNITY BLOG! Throughout the year we will feature information, updates, and resources from the people who work with our children in our community. 

This post comes from 
Linda Flach,
Early Childhood Consultant working with the Parent Child Resource Center located in Derby. Linda talks about the importance of children being socially and emotionally ready for school, what this looks like and how you can help them.

When we think about children being ready for kindergarten, we often think: Do they know their name, the alphabet, sounds for letters, numbers and counting, etc. But kindergarten teachers tell us that it is just as important to children’s success that they be able to wait their turn, ask for help if they need it, manage disappointments, interact and work things out with their classmates. Often the social and emotional aspects of being ready for school are not considered, or are thought to be something that children automatically develop. Some children do learn from their environment the skills needed to get along in a group of students. Some do learn emotional recognition and control without much intervention. However we do our children a disservice if we expect them to learn the social and emotional skills needed to succeed without adult guidance.

So what is social and emotional development? Simply put, it is the ability to experience and manage a range of emotions, the ability to form good relationships and get along with others.  These are life skills, we don’t just need them for school. So let us think about what these skills look like.

Ben enters a classroom for the first time. It’s scary and exciting and there are lots of other kids. Mommy kisses him goodbye and though he is sad and scared he takes the teacher’s offered hand and goes to join the others. He has just demonstrated that he has trust in the adults. He trusts his mom enough to separate from her readily even though he would rather she not leave. He trusts the adult he had been left with to care for him. He has just demonstrated one of his life skills- the ability to connect. The positive relationships that he has had during his life have prepared him to continue creating  connections with his teacher and peers.

Later another little child is given directions to wash hands for snack. She follows the instructions, guided through the process by the teacher’s words and perhaps pictures of the steps of hand washing above the sink. She then goes to the seat as directed by the teacher. She has just demonstrated the ability to follow instructions. Listening and learning to following routines is also a life skill, a social skill. Many rules and routines will be part of the classroom experience. 

Jimmy wants the book read that he brought from home. The teacher chooses to read another book instead. Jimmy is disappointed and a tear comes to his eye. He asks if she can read it another time.  Jimmy has just demonstrated self -control. No tantrum, though sad he controls his emotions. Self -regulation being one skill he has demonstrated and it is a difficult skill to master indeed. Problem solving being another skill he has just demonstrated. He looked for a solution to the problem of not having his book read today. Jimmy also communicates with the teacher. Communication being a very important social skill. 

The teacher sees the tear in Jimmy’s eye and recognizes his sadness. She agrees to read his book later. She has demonstrated a skill. Recognition of the cues to others emotions is part of emotional literacy. We do want our children to learn to recognize their own emotions and that of others. We want them to act appropriately, expressing their emotions with words and responding to the emotions and needs of others with caring.

Patty approaches two peers who are studying shells with magnifying glasses. She asks politely if she can join them. They say no because there are only two magnifying glasses. She asks if they can let her know when one of them is done so she can have a turn. They agree. Patty has just shown that she can ask to join play appropriately, that she can handle disappointment (being told no), and can problem solve (asking to be informed when she can have a turn). Patty is also an effective communicator.

 Not all our children will come to kindergarten as capable as these youngsters. But as the parents and adults who care for our children we owe it to them to help them learn the skills shown here. So what can we do?

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First we can be positive role models for our children, showing love, respect and caring for those around us. Kindness and respect are learned through example.

Second we can role model handling our emotions in appropriate ways. Teaching them the coping skills that help us deal with our strong emotions. Things like taking several slow deep breaths, counting to ten, imagining a pleasant scene, tensing and relaxing muscles, and using words to express our emotions in tones that are in control. We can talk about emotions and we can acknowledge them. Emotions are not good or bad, they are a part of us. It is how we handle our strong emotions that can be acceptable or unacceptable behavior. We can discuss with our children the emotions that are present in the books we read with them, the shows they watch and the people that are in their lives.  Telling a child, “I know you are angry because the baby knocked down your blocks. You really worked hard on that tower.” can go a long way in helping the child understand his own feelings and that you understand. And if you remain calm and help the child regain calm, perhaps helping to rebuild the tower, you have aided in the child’s developing ability to gain control after an emotional upset.

Another area of needed skill development is in the area of friendship skills. Sharing, taking turns, using kind words, asking to join play. These are all things children must learn. Again nothing teaches like a good example. Help your child become a problem solver, a person who seeks solutions rather than blame. We can do that by modeling. We have a problem. Let’s identify it and then seek some solution. If there is no solution then let’s consider what can we do to make the situation more tolerable.

Small children often feel powerless. Let’s help give them the power to succeed socially and emotionally.  It’s a superpower.

Submitted by Linda Flach, ECCP Early Childhood Consultant at the Lower Naugatuck Valley Parent Child Resource Center

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The Unthinkable: Leaving A Child In A Hot Car.

9/18/2018

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Fun Healthy Eating Tips for Kids.

9/18/2018

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Nutrition Detectives is a program for elementary students and gives children five easy “clues” on how to make better eating choices. The five clues are: 

1.     Don’t be fooled by the big letters in front of packages of food. Look for letters on the food label instead.

2.     Remember: the first ingredient is always the biggest.

3.     Avoid partially hydrogenated oil and high fructose corn syrup.

4.     Fiber is your friend, so look for whole grain imposters! High-grain fiber products have to be at least 2 grams of fiber per 100 calories

5.     Avoid foods with long ingredient lists! Shorter ingredient lists tend to be more wholesome.

6.     Use these tips the next time you are in a grocery store!

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ABC for Fitness is a program that Valley elementary schools have added to their classrooms. This program consists of doing activity bursts throughout the day allowing teachers to add physical activity without interrupting class time. Activity bursts are proven to reduce hyperactivity and increase student focus.  

Here is a link to some examples of what an activity burst looks like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjKJgvUoK28

For more VITAHLS information

Website: www.griffinhealth.org/VITAHLS

Facebook: www.facebook.com/VITAHLS

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/VITAHLSCT

Phone:  203-732-1265, ext. 305    

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Young Children And Whining

9/18/2018

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Welcome to our COMMUNITY BLOG! Throughout the year we will feature information, updates, and resources from the people who work with our children in our community. 

This post comes from Ansonia School Readiness Coordinator Diana Brancato. Diana shares some great strategies to help stop your young child from whining.

I don’t wanttttt to!  Pleeeeeeaase!!  Whyyyyy nottttt????

Like Styrofoam rubbing together, whining is one of those sounds that immediately gets your attention… and not in a good way!  The good news is that parents can definitely influence this challenging behavior.  The way we react to the whining and what we say to redirect the whining can make the world of a difference in whether they choose to use this tone of voice or not.

Here are some strategies to help stop your young child from whining:

1.      Change the way you think about whining.  Understand that your child is not whining to deliberately drive you crazy.  Many times a child does it because they feel frustrated or because they want to be heard.  It is completely developmentally appropriate for children to express their needs or wants in the fashion of whining.  However,

2.    Let your child know that whining is not acceptable.  You have to let your child know that whining is not a way to express his/her needs and wants.  In a calm voice, tell your child that you will not listen to what he/she has to say until he/she talks in a normal tone of voice.  Model the normal tone of voice for the child.

3.    Ask yourself what might be causing the whining.  Does your child whine when he/she has had a long day, hungry, tired or there is a change in routine?  Once you answer these questions, you may be able to make some changes that will decrease the whining.

4.    Do not give in to the whining.  It may seem much easier to give in to your child’s whining request for that toy or that cookie but it would definitely be a mistake.  Giving in will encourage the child to use whining as the way to get what he/she wants/needs.

5.    Stay consistent.  If you do not want your child to whine for his/her needs/wants then you must enforce the “no whining allowed” rule consistently.  Do not make it acceptable one time because that sends a mixed message to your child.


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Too Much Stress for Your Child??

9/18/2018

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Welcome to our COMMUNITY BLOG! Throughout the year we will feature information, updates, and resources from the people who work with our children in our community. 

This entry is brought to you by Jean Schoenleber, LCSW, Child First Clinical Director for the Lower Naugatuck Valley. Child First is an innovative, home-based early childhood intervention, embedded in a system of care. Child First works with the most vulnerable young children (prenatal through age five years) and families to decrease serious emotional disturbance, developmental and learning problems, and abuse and neglect.

Jean shares information in her post about different types of stress children may face and what you can do to support them.

As adults and parents we generally feel that being “stressed” is our job but not something that our children need to worry about.  After all, aren’t we the ones who carry the weight of financial stressors, work pressures, family and health concerns?  Surprisingly, it has been found that children can experience significant stress in their lives, even to the point of being seriously effected by it.

The impact of stress on children’s early development has been getting quite a lot of study recently and the findings are very interesting.  The good news is that not all stress is damaging for children! As a matter of fact, learning to cope with a certain amount of stress and adversity is actually an important part of growing up healthily.  The bad news is that certain kinds of stress can actually impact the development of young children’s brains and their ability to cope with life.  So what makes the difference?

Experts have identified three different kinds of stress that children might experience and these have been called: Positive Stress, Tolerable Stress and Toxic Stress.  The differences lie in how severe, repeating or lasting the stressful situation is for the child and in what relationships the child has that act as a “protective buffer” during or after the stressful experience.

Positive Stress, considered a normal and healthy part of development, causes a mild stress reaction for the child (which can include a faster heart rate and a mild increase in the stress hormone “cortisol” in the body). This might be something that normally occurs in life like the first day of school/child care with a first separation from a parent or going to the doctor for shots. Even starting in a new classroom for school-age children, can be stressful. Children can learn to build their coping strategies and build confidence in both themselves and those around them by coping with mild stress successfully.

Tolerable Stress is more severe and long-lasting for the child and might be something like the death of a loved one, maybe a natural disaster or a serious injury or hospitalization that the child experiences.  IF the experience is “buffered” by the child being protectively cared for, comforted and reassured by adults who have a relationship with the child, they will be able to cope and return to functioning well, though there may be some difficulties in the short run.

Toxic Stress is the term for stress children experience when they face serious adversity that they are exposed to repeatedly or over a longer period of time. We might want to call this “overwhelming” or “intolerable” stress. It is particularly difficult for children if their caretakers are not able to protect them for whatever reason.  We need to be concerned if a child is experiencing something like violence at home, physical abuse, homelessness, chronic hunger or if there is serious substance use going on at home (which almost always makes it hard for parents to be available to be the “protective buffer” for their child). 

I know that sounds very heavy but there is more good news -  parents, or other caring adults, can do a tremendous amount to make sure children’s stress experiences are positive or tolerable. You are really the most important factor and you can both protect your child from excessively stressful situations, be there for them if something does happen and help them learn positive lessons from their stressful experiences.

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So…..what can you do to help your child with stress? Here are a few thoughts:

1.     Recognize that stressful situations are serious to your child, even if they seem minor to you.  Don’t minimize their concern.  Listen!

2.     Try to pay serious attention if your child is showing signs of stress either by complaining about something or – with younger children they are more likely to show stress through their behavior.  This could mean being difficult at school or home, having trouble with something that they could do before or maybe clinging to you more.

3.     Look at changes in behavior as a sign that something might be bothering your child. Children don’t generally want to be “bad” but they do often need your attention and help with whatever is underneath that difficult behavior.

4.     Prepare your child for any kind of changes in their routine – even very young children who can not yet talk.  Talk with them about what is going to happen! They can understand you and your tone of voice much earlier than you might think!

5.     Teach children ways to cope with the normal losses in life such as writing a short note to send to their teacher who they just left. Or having a play-date with a child who was in their class who they might miss. Acknowledging these losses doesn’t make it worse for your child – it actually helps them feel that you understand and care, and teaches them that we can cope with what happens in life.

6.     If they are going to be away from home or from you, like for a family visit over the summer, make sure they have special things that remind them of home and you.  Maybe pictures or favorite objects.

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7.     Make time for calm, fun play with your child – never underestimate how important this can be for both of you, especially when routines change or there is more stress at home for whatever reason.

8.     Read with your child – finding books at the library on whatever topic you think is bothering your child can be a wonderful way to share time and talk about stressful situations!

9.     Teach your child to listen to their body and to take time to do some calming-down activities if too “riled up”.

10.     If your child experiences something especially frightening, remember that they will need extra reassurance from you that they are safe.  They may need to be closer to you and may need to find different ways to express their fear for some time.

11.     Take care of yourself!! This is possibly the best gift you can give your child because you can only be that “protective buffer” for them if you feel cared for yourself.

12.     Get help if you or your child need it – maybe the hardest thing to do is to realize that no one can do it all for their children and sometimes everyone needs some extra support to deal with life’s challenges or be the parent that they want to be.   Call 2-1-1 or ask at any community agency where you might be able to get help.  Programs like “Child First” and “Triple P Parenting” have helped lots of families in our community!

Resources

http://developingchild.harvard.edu/index.php/key_concepts/toxic_stress_response/

To find out more about Child First in CT please click here: http://www.childfirst.com/cf/page/connecticut 

To contact the Parent Child Resource Center/BhCare where Child First is Based in Derby, CT you can call: 203/954-0543





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HOMEWORK?

9/18/2018

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Here’s WHAT NOT TO DO….

* DON’T do your child’s homework. – You already know everything there is about first grade!  Your child is the one who needs to practice the skills being taught. 

* DON’T take over projects and reports. – It may not be perfect if you let your child do things on his own, but it is his own work and his own creativity that will be graded.

* DON’T hover over your child, nag or yell about homework. – I’m sure everyone has had someone hang over their shoulder while they were trying to get something done.  I’ll bet that wasn’t your best work, because you felt pressure to get it done.  Yelling and nagging only cause bad feelings and again, no one works at their best when they feel stressed.

* DON’T allow distractions during homework time. – Televisions, radios, cell phones, outside conversations can all be noisy distractions for young students.  Try to find a quiet location away from screens and busy family traffic areas so that your student can concentrate on getting the work done and doing it correctly.

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  Instead, here are things you SHOULD DO…

* Review your child’s homework once completed to check that your child followed directions and completed the assignment.  You can check for mistakes, but let your child fix them.

*Set up a good work space away from TVs and games and provide the materials your child needs.

* Determine the best time to get homework done.  10 minutes before you have to be at a karate class, is not the best time to start homework.  If you are busy with dinner preparations, it is probably going to be busy, loud and chaotic in the kitchen and your attention will be on the stove.

* Help your child find the best way to study.  If using flash cards isn’t working, try making a memory game with the cards, create a hopscotch game with questions, or some other creative and fun way to help with those “boring” memory tasks.

*Let the teacher know if you had to offer a lot of help.  Jot a note to the teacher that your child struggled with an assignment so that he or she knows that more in-class practice is necessary.

* Be nearby if your child needs to ask a question (or have someone else who can help be available).

I know it is hard not to do all the correcting and directing during homework time.  We want our children to do their work correctly and to succeed in school.  Here are some things that you can say to help direct children without telling them what they should be doing…

1. Do you understand what you are supposed to do?

2. Do you need help in understanding how to do this assignment?

3. Do you have everything you need?

4. Does this answer make sense to you?

5. If you are stuck on this question, let’s skip it for now and go back to it.

6. Offer praise for trying hard, doing good work, and completing first steps.

One final note to remember when working with young students…

Learning to read is a BIG CHALLENGE and it can be frustrating to many students.  These frustrations often lead to a strong dislike of books and reading.  Keep the joy of reading a story alive in your child by reading to them regularly.  The time you spend reading together should be relaxing and enjoyable.  No child hates spending special time together with their Mom, Dad or guardian and that story time will keep their interest in reading alive while they master the skills needed to read on their own. 

Have a great school year!

If you would like to know more about ways to make homework fun, please contact Karen Hicks at ansoniadiscovery@yahoo.com.


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