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Getting Your Child to Love Reading

6/11/2014

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Helping your children enjoy reading is one of the most important things you can do as a parent and it's well worth the investment of your time and energy. 

Kids will learn reading skills in school, but often they come to associate reading with work, not pleasure. As a result, they lose their desire to read. And it is that desire—the curiosity and interest—that is the cornerstone to using reading and related skills successfully. 

By far the most effective way to encourage your children to love books and reading is to read aloud to them, and the earlier you start, the better. Even a baby of a few months can see pictures, listen to your voice, and turn cardboard pages. 

Make this time together a special time when you hold your kids and share the pleasure of a story without the distractions of TV or telephones. You may be surprised to find that a well-written children's book is often as big a delight to you as it is to the kids. 

And don't stop taking the time to read aloud once your children have learned to read for themselves. At this stage, encourage them to read to you some of the time. This shared enjoyment will continue to strengthen your children's interest and appreciation. 

Simply having books, magazines, and newspapers around your home will help children view them as part of daily life. And your example of reading frequently and enjoying it will reinforce that view. 

While your children are still very small, it's a good idea to start a home library for them, even if it's just a shelf or two. Be sure to keep some books for little children to handle freely. 

Include specially made, extra-durable books for infants, and pick paperbacks and plastic covers for kids who are older but still not quite ready for expensive hardbacks. Allowing little children to touch, smell, and even taste books will help them develop strong attachments. 

How you handle books will eventually influence how your kids treat them. Children imitate, so if they see that you enjoy reading and treat books gently and with respect, it is likely that they will do the same. 

When you read aloud together, choose books that you both like. If a book seems dull, put it down and find one that is appealing. There are, however, so many children's books in print that making the best selections may seem a formidable task. 

One approach is to look for award-winning books. There are two famous awards for children's literature made each year by the American Library Association that are good indicators of quality work: the Caldecott Medal for illustration and the Newbery Medal for writing. But these are given to only two of the approximately 2,500 new children's books published each year. 

Fortunately, there is a lot of other good help available. For instance, there are lists of books recommended by the American Library Association and the Library of Congress, as well as some excellent books to guide parents in making selections. 

The best help of all, though, is at your neighborhood library. If you are not familiar with the library, don't hesitate to ask for help. The children's librarian is trained to help you locate specific books, books that are good for reading aloud, and books on a particular subject recommended for a particular age group. 


To read more please click here: http://www.rif.org/us/literacy-resources/articles/getting-your-child-to-love-reading.htm
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Why Toddlers Always Say "No!"

6/11/2014

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Your child suddenly has opinions about everything. Find out why that's a good thing.By Karen J. Bannan from Parents Magazine

Saying "No" Is NormalThree-year-old Max Colby doesn't like to wear underwear or short-sleeved shirts. His mom, Andrea, would love to know why -- but Max can't quite explain his objections. "All he does is rip his clothes off and yell 'no, no, no,'" she says. "I have no idea how to handle it."

If you think that you and your defiant toddler are constantly sparring like this, you're right: A recent study in Child Development showed that 2- and 3-year-olds argue with their parents 20 to 25 times an hour! You may get exhausted just looking at those numbers, but there is an upside to all the showdowns. "Kids this age are realizing that they can assert themselves, and arguing with you is one way they gain confidence," says John Sargent, MD, a child psychiatrist and professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Baylor College of Medicine, in Houston. Remember: The world is still a big, mysterious place to your toddler, and he feels pretty powerless in it. Saying no is a normal, healthy way for him to feel as if he has some control.

Still, constant conflicts aren't fun, and they're often tricky to solve. Giving in sets a bad precedent, while being too strict or forcing your child to do what you want can make him feel helpless, scared, angry -- and even more defiant. Try these strategies to turn your talking-back toddler into a "yes" kid.

Focus on the Positive
Your toddler doesn't like hearing "no" all the time any more than the rest of us, but think about how many times you say it to her every day ("No pulling the dog's tail!" "No standing on the chair!"). It's enough to put anyone in a crabby mood. "Tell your child what you want her to do rather than what you don't want her to do," says Angie T. Cranor, PhD, assistant professor of human development and family studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. For example, "Don't roll on the floor in your new dress" is more likely to start an argument than "Please sit on the couch in that pretty dress so it stays clean." Tone is also important. Of course you're going to yell if your child is about to run into traffic, but she's more likely to do what you ask when you use a calm, firm voice.


Give Reasons for Your Requests
Toddlers are less likely to pitch a fit when you tell them why they can't get their way. Vivian J. Malauulu's 3-year-old son, Jordan, loves climbing the jungle gym in his backyard, but he often stops halfway up and refuses to budge. And Malauulu, who is seven months pregnant, has no choice but to talk him down. "When I explain that I can't come up to get him because I have a baby in my tummy, he usually stops trying to convince me," she says. Most toddlers can understand simple explanations like that, says Deborah Laible, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Lehigh University, in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. You don't need to go into all the details; if you do, your kid could tune you out or end up confused.

Don't Always Make the Decisions
"Giving your toddler choices helps satisfy her need to feel in control," says Dr. Cranor. If she refuses to put down her favorite blocks when it's time to eat dinner, distract her by asking whether she would prefer a glass of milk or apple juice with her meal. If getting dressed is a constant drama, let her choose her outfit, even if she ends up looking like a Project Runway reject. "When you allow your child to make small decisions, she'll feel proud -- and be more likely to say 'yes' to your requests in the future," says Dr. Cranor.

Encourage Imitation
You know your toddler loves to imitate you and play grown-up, so use that to your advantage the next time he won't cooperate, says Dr. Laible. If he won't put on his socks, for example, say, "My feet are cold, so I'm going to put on a warmer pair. Your feet must be cold too -- why don't we put on our socks together?"

Get Her into Giggle Mode
There are certain times when your toddler will always say no. If you try to break up her dolls' tea party because it's bathtime, chances are she'll refuse to get anywhere near the tub. But if you can turn your request into a game, you're both more likely to end up laughing instead of arguing. Suggest that she hop her way to the bathroom, count how many big (or teeny-tiny) steps it takes to get there, or make up her own silly bathtime song.

To continue reading please click here: http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/toddler-no-no-no/?page=7
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Sun Safety Tips for Infants, Babies and Toddlers.

5/27/2014

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Just one blistering sunburn in childhood more than doubles a person's chances of developingmelanoma later in life. According to one US study, 54 percent of children become sunburned or tanned in their second summer, versus 22 percent in their first.

"Children should not be getting sunburned at any age, especially since there are a range of very effective sun protection methods that can used," said Perry Robins, MD, President, The Skin Cancer Foundation. "Parents need to be extra vigilant about sun protection all the time."

Many parents don't know the best ways to protect their young children. Below are The Skin Cancer Foundation's recommendations.

Infants

  • 0-6 months: Infants under 6 months of age should be kept out of the sun. Their skin is too sensitive for sunscreen. An infant's skin possesses little melanin, the pigment that gives color to skin, hair and eyes and provides some sun protection. Therefore, babies are especially susceptible to the sun's damaging effects.

    • Use removable mesh window shields to keep direct sunlight from coming in through the windows of your car or invest in UV window film, which can screen almost 100 percent of ultraviolet radiation without reducing visibility.
    • Take walks early in the morning before 10 AM or after 4 PM and use a stroller with a sun-protective cover.
    • Dress baby in lightweight clothing that covers the arms and legs.
    • Choose a wide-brimmed hat or bonnet that protects the baby's face, neck, and ears. A baby who wears a hat during the first few months will get used to having it on.
Babies

  • 6-12 months: It's now safe to use sunscreen on babies.

    • All the protection methods explained above still apply, however now sunscreen use should be incorporated.
    • Apply broad-spectrum, SPF 15+ sunscreen to areas left uncovered such as baby's hands. Many companies have tear-free formulas that won't sting baby's eyes.
    • Most importantly, sunscreen must be applied 30 minutes before going outside and reapplied every two hours or after swimming or excessive sweating.
Toddlers/Pre-School Age

  • Protecting toddlers from the sun requires a little more thought and effort. It is important to educate your child and caregivers.

    • Make sure your child seeks the shade between 10 AM and 4 PM. Check the outdoor area where your child plays to make sure there is adequate shade.
    • Make sure toddlers are covered. Long-sleeved, unbleached cottonclothing is cool and comfortable, while also highly protective. Clothing with an Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) listing on the label offers extra security. The Skin Cancer Foundation recommends clothing with a UPF of 30 or higher.

To read more please click on the link: http://www.skincancer.org/prevention/sun-protection/children/sun-safety-tips-for-infants-babies-and-toddlers
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Growth & Development Milestones: 1-3 Months.

5/8/2014

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The American Academy of Pediatrics has identified important milestones for babies ages 1 month through 3 months. We've included fun and easy ways to help your newborn reach these key developmental markers, plus helpful information new parents should know.

By Catie Bielecki

Raises Head & Chest When Lying on Stomach

Type of Milestone: Physical

Practice with Baby: Give him lots of tummy time. Every time he lifts his head -- even if it's just for a few seconds -- he is strengthening his neck muscles.

Mama Must-Know: At this age, Baby might start to seem much taller and thinner. This is because his bones and muscles are growing and his limbs are loosening up.

Watches Faces Intently

Type of Milestone: Social

Practice with Baby: Buy an unbreakable mirror to hang near your baby's crib or changing table. She'll love seeing her own facial expressions and movements.

Mama Must-Know: She can now process your face as a whole, instead of just focusing on individual such as your eyes.

Smiles at the Sound of Your Voice

Type of Milestone: Developmental

Practice with Baby: Speak to him with dramatic baby talk. High-pitched, slow, and exaggerated voices are his favorite. Widen your eyes and mouth to encourage his smile.

Mama Must-Know: Baby loves your voice best because it reminds him of food, comfort, and warmth.

Begins to Develop a Social Smile

Type of Milestone: Social

Practice with Baby: "Smile-talk" with him. Sometimes he'll aim a big smile at you and even babble to catch your attention. Immediately smile back. Likewise, you can start a smile conversation by giving the first smile whenever you notice him watching you attentively.

Mama Must-Know: Your baby might be shy to meet your gaze at first, but having a smile conversation helps him from becoming overwhelmed.

Supports Upper Body with Arms When Lying on Stomach

Type of Milestone: Physical

Practice with Baby: Give him plenty of tummy time. Encourage him to lift his upper body by talking to him or holding a bright toy in front of him.

Mama Must-Know: Babies who don't spend enough time on their bellies might have a hard time learning to roll over and crawl.

Follows Moving Objects

Type of Milestone: Cognitive

Practice with Baby: Hang a bright mobile above your baby's crib or changing table. Set it at a low speed at first. As he gets better at following the objects, gradually increase the speed setting.

Mama Must-Know: At this age, Baby's eyes should be working together to move and focus. If it doesn't seem like they are, talk with your pediatrician.

Begins to Babble

Type of Milestone: Language skills

Practice with Baby: Read to your baby often. Choose baby books with bright pictures and high-contrast patterns to visually stimulate him as well.

Mama Must-Know: By listening to adults talk, Baby is learning the importance of verbal communication.

To read more please click on the link: 




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Potty Training Problem — Refusing to Poop.        

4/26/2014

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You wait and wait and wait — but it's a no-go. Here's what to do when your toddler has trouble pooping in the potty.

What it is: Your child has already shown that he can go with the flow by peeing in the potty. But with number two, it’s a whole different story.

Why this potty training problem happens: Sometimes it’s a matter of control — the more you push him to poop, the more your tot enjoys his power to hold it in. Fear might also be a factor — some kids have trouble pooping because they’re afraid their tush will fall in the toilet. Others have a fear of flushing or are bothered by the idea of losing a part of themselves when the poop disappears down the bowl.

What you need to know when your toddler has trouble pooping: This potty training problem can test a parent’s patience like none of the other developmental milestones — but have faith. Sooner (before age two) or later (after age three), all children cross that finish line. Until then, it’s important to remember that potty-training is not a race. Let your toddler set the pace and if he’d rather stroll than sprint, don’t take it personally.

What to do when your toddler has trouble pooping:

  • Take a break. Tell your child that when he’s ready, he can try making a BM in the potty again and that you’ll be there to help. Then lay off the topic, and let him feel like he’s in the driver’s seat. Above all, never force a toddler who has trouble pooping on the potty to sit there when he doesn’t want to. It’ll not only make him more resistant (and scared, if his fears are holding him back), it can also lead to constipation.
  • Help him feel secure. If your tot is having trouble pooping because he’s afraid of falling in, make sure the potty seat fits your toilet well and isn’t shaky. The same goes for the step stool, which should be steady as a rock. Or offer your child the option of using a potty chair (pick one with a sturdy base that won’t tip over when he gets up).
  • Hold off on flushing. If the sound of rushing water spooks your sweetie so much that he has trouble pooping, wait until he’s out of the room before flushing. As he becomes more comfortable with the noise, gradually close the distance — he can stand in the next room, the hallway, the doorway, and so on. Then, when he’s ready, ask him if he wants to push down on the lever himself.
  • Say good-bye. If your tot seems anxious when he catches sight of his toddler poop swirling down the drain, encourage him to wave bye-bye to it before flushing. It can make him feel better about the separation. Another solution to this potty training problem — do some test runs with toilet paper only. Be matter-of-fact (but clear about what’s flushable) when you do the deed, though. Otherwise, your little one may think it’s fun to flush down his toys, your keys, or the sitter’s cell phone.
  • Motivate with a treat. Casually offer an incentive — a sticker on a chart for every successful sitting, say. After a certain number of stickers, your little one can cash them in for a prize (ice cream with Daddy or a toy from the dollar store).


To read more from the original article and more like it please click on the link: http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/potty-training-problem-refusing-to-poop.aspx
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Common breastfeeding challenges

4/10/2014

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Breastfeeding can be challenging at times, especially in the early days. But it is important to remember that you are not alone. Lactation consultants are trained to help you find ways to make breastfeeding work for you. And while many women are faced with one or more of the challenges listed here, many women do not struggle at all! Also, many women may have certain problems with one baby that they don’t have with their second or third babies. Read on for ways to troubleshoot problems.

Sore nipples
Many moms report that nipples can be tender at first. Breastfeeding should be comfortable once you have found some positions that work and a good latch is established. Yet it is possible to still have pain from an abrasion you already have. You may also have pain if your baby is sucking on only the nipple.

What you can do
  1. A good latch is key, so visit the Bringing your baby to the breast to latch section for detailed instructions. If your baby is sucking only on the nipple, gently break your baby’s suction to your breast by placing a clean finger in the corner of your baby’s mouth and try again. (Your nipple should not look flat or compressed when it comes out of your baby’s mouth. It should look round and long, or the same shape as it was before the feeding.)
  2. If you find yourself wanting to delay feedings because of pain, get help from a lactation consultant. Delaying feedings can cause more pain and harm your supply.
  3. Try changing positions each time you breastfeed. This puts the pressure on a different part of the breast.
  4. After breastfeeding, express a few drops of milk and gently rub it on your nipples with clean hands. Human milk has natural healing properties and emollients that soothe. Also try letting your nipples air-dry after feeding, or wear a soft cotton shirt.
  5. If you are thinking about using creams, hydrogel pads, or a nipple shield, get help from a health care provider first.
  6. Avoid wearing bras or clothes that are too tight and put pressure on your nipples.
  7. Change nursing pads often to avoid trapping in moisture.
  8. Avoid using soap or ointments that contain astringents or other chemicals on your nipples. Make sure to avoid products that must be removed before breastfeeding. Washing with clean water is all that is needed to keep your nipples and breasts clean.
  9. If you have very sore nipples, you can ask your doctor about using non-aspirin pain relievers.

Low milk supply
Most mothers can make plenty of milk for their babies. But many mothers are concerned about having enough.

Checking your baby’s weight and growth is the best way to make sure he or she is getting enough milk. Let the doctor know if you are concerned. For more ways to tell if your baby is getting enough milk, visit the How to know your baby is getting enough milksection.

There may be times when you think your supply is low, but it is actually just fine:

  • When your baby is around 6 weeks to 2 months old, your breasts may no longer feel full. This is normal. At the same time, your baby may nurse for only five minutes at a time. This can mean that you and baby are just adjusting to the breastfeeding process — and getting good at it!
  • Growth spurts can cause your baby to want to nurse longer and more often. These growth spurts can happen around 2 to 3 weeks, 6 weeks, and 3 months of age. They can also happen at any time. Don’t be alarmed that your supply is too low to satisfy your baby. Follow your baby’s lead — nursing more and more often will help build up your milk supply. Once your supply increases, you will likely be back to your usual routine.
What you can do
  1. Make sure your baby is latched on and positioned well.
  2. Breastfeed often and let your baby decide when to end the feeding.
  3. Offer both breasts at each feeding. Have your baby stay at the first breast as long as he or she is still sucking and swallowing. Offer the second breast when the baby slows down or stops.
  4. Try to avoid giving your baby formula or cereal as it may lead to less interest in breast milk. This will decrease your milk supply. Your baby doesn’t need solid foods until he or she is at least 6 months old. If you need to supplement the baby’s feedings, try using a spoon, cup, or a dropper.
  5. Limit or stop pacifier use while trying the above tips at the same time.

Oversupply of milk
Some mothers are concerned about having an oversupply of milk. Having an overfull breast can make feedings stressful and uncomfortable for both mother and baby.

What you can do
  1. Breastfeed on one side for each feeding. Continue to offer that same side for at least two hours until the next full feeding, gradually increasing the length of time per feeding.
  2. If the other breast feels unbearably full before you are ready to breastfeed on it, hand express for a few moments to relieve some of the pressure. You can also use a cold compress or washcloth to reduce discomfort and swelling.
  3. Feed your baby before he or she becomes overly hungry to prevent aggressive sucking. (Learn about hunger signs in the Tips for making it work section.)
  4. Try positions that don’t allow the force of gravity to help as much with milk ejection, such as the side-lying position or the football hold. (See the Breastfeeding holds section for illustrations of these positions.)
  5. Burp your baby frequently if he or she is gassy.
Some women have a strong milk ejection reflex or let-down. This can happen along with an oversupply of milk. If you have a rush of milk, try the following:

  1. Hold your nipple between your forefinger and middle finger or with the side of your hand to lightly compress milk ducts to reduce the force of the milk ejection.
  2. If baby chokes or sputters, unlatch him or her and let the excess milk spray into a towel or cloth.
  3. Allow your baby to come on and off the breast at will.

Engorgement

It is normal for your breasts to become larger, heavier, and a little tender when they begin making more milk. Sometimes this fullness may turn into engorgement, when your breasts feel very hard and painful. You also may have breast swelling, tenderness, warmth, redness, throbbing, and flattening of the nipple. Engorgement sometimes also causes a low-grade fever and can be confused with a breast infection. Engorgement is the result of the milk building up. It usually happens during the third to fifth day after birth, but it can happen at any time.

Engorgement can lead to plugged ducts or a breast infection, so it is important to try to prevent it before this happens. If treated properly, engorgement should resolve.

What you can do
  1. Breastfeed often after birth, allowing the baby to feed as long as he or she likes, as long as he or she is latched on well and sucking effectively. In the early weeks after birth, you should wake your baby to feed if four hours have passed since the beginning of the last feeding.
  2. Work with a lactation consultant to improve the baby’s latch.
  3. Breastfeed often on the affected side to remove the milk, keep it moving freely, and prevent the breast from becoming overly full.
  4. Avoid overusing pacifiers and using bottles to supplement feedings.
  5. Hand express or pump a little milk to first soften the breast, areola, and nipple before breastfeeding.
  6. Massage the breast.
  7. Use cold compresses in between feedings to help ease pain.
  8. If you are returning to work, try to pump your milk on the same schedule that the baby breastfed at home. Or, you can pump at least every four hours.
  9. Get enough rest, proper nutrition, and fluids.
  10. Wear a well-fitting, supportive bra that is not too tight.

Plugged ducts
It is common for many women to have a plugged duct at some point breastfeeding. A plugged milk duct feels like a tender and sore lump in the breast. It is not accompanied by a fever or other symptoms. It happens when a milk duct does not properly drain and becomes inflamed. Then, pressure builds up behind the plug, and surrounding tissue becomes inflamed. A plugged duct usually only occurs in one breast at a time.

What you can do
  1. Breastfeed often on the affected side, as often as every two hours. This helps loosen the plug, and keeps the milk moving freely.
  2. Massage the area, starting behind the sore spot. Use your fingers in a circular motion and massage toward the nipple.
  3. Use a warm compress on the sore area.
  4. Get extra sleep or relax with your feet up to help speed healing. Often a plugged duct is the first sign that a mother is doing too much.
  5. Wear a well-fitting supportive bra that is not too tight, since this can constrict milk ducts. Consider trying a bra without underwire.

Breast infection (mastitis)

Ask your doctor for help if you do not feel better within 24 hours of trying these tips, if you have a fever, or if your symptoms worsen. You might need medicine. See your doctor right away if:

  • You have a breast infection in which both breasts look affected
  • There is pus or blood in the milk
  • You have red streaks near the area
  • Your symptoms came on severely and suddenly

Even if you are taking medicine, continue to breastfeed during treatment. This is best for both you and your baby. Ask a lactation consultant for help if needed.
Mastitis (mast-EYE-tiss) is soreness or a lump in the breast that can be accompanied by a fever and/or flu-like symptoms, such as feeling run down or very achy. Some women with a breast infection also have nausea and vomiting. You also may have yellowish discharge from the nipple that looks like colostrum. Or, the breasts may feel warm or hot to the touch and appear pink or red. A breast infection can occur when other family members have a cold or the flu. It usually only occurs in one breast. It is not always easy to tell the difference between a breast infection and a plugged duct because both have similar symptoms and can improve within 24 to 48 hours. Most breast infections that do not improve on their own within this time period need to be treated with medicine given by a doctor. (Learn more about medicines and breastfeeding in our Breastfeeding fact sheet.)

What you can do
  1. Breastfeed often on the affected side, as often as every two hours. This keeps the milk moving freely, and keeps the breast from becoming overly full.
  2. Massage the area, starting behind the sore spot. Use your fingers in a circular motion and massage toward the nipple.
  3. Apply heat to the sore area with a warm compress.
  4. Get extra sleep or relax with your feet up to help speed healing. Often a breast infection is the first sign that a mother is doing too much and becoming overly tired.
  5. Wear a well-fitting supportive bra that is not too tight, since this can constrict milk ducts.

Fungal infections

A fungal infection, also called a yeast infection or thrush, can form on your nipples or in your breast because it thrives on milk. The infection forms from an overgrowth of the Candida organism. Candida exists in our bodies and is kept at healthy levels by the natural bacteria in our bodies. When the natural balance of bacteria is upset, Candida can overgrow, causing an infection.

If you or your baby has symptoms of a fungal infection, call both your doctor and your baby’s doctor so you can be correctly diagnosed and treated at the same time. This will help prevent passing the infection to each other.

A key sign of a fungal infection is if you develop sore nipples that last more than a few days, even after you make sure your baby has a good latch. Or, you may suddenly get sore nipples after several weeks of pain-free breastfeeding. Some other signs of a fungal infection include pink, flaky, shiny, itchy or cracked nipples, or deep pink and blistered nipples. You also could have achy breasts or shooting pains deep in the breast during or after feedings.

Causes of thrush include:

  • Thrush in your baby’s mouth, which can pass to you
  • An overly moist environment on your skin or nipples that are sore or cracked
  • Antibiotics or steroids
  • A chronic illness like HIV, diabetes, or anemia
Thrush in a baby’s mouth appears as little white spots on the inside of the cheeks, gums, or tongue. Many babies with thrush refuse to nurse, or are gassy or cranky. A baby’s fungal infection can also appear as a diaper rash that looks like small red dots around a main rash. This rash will not go away by using regular diaper rash creams.

What you can doFungal infections may take several weeks to cure, so it is important to follow these tips to avoid spreading the infection:

  1. Change disposable nursing pads often.
  2. Wash any towels or clothing that comes in contact with the yeast in very hot water (above 122°F).
  3. Wear a clean bra every day.
  4. Wash your hands often, and wash your baby’s hands often — especially if he or she sucks on his or her fingers.
  5. Put pacifiers, bottle nipples, or toys your baby puts in his or her mouth in a pot of water and bring it to a roaring boil daily. After one week of treatment, discard pacifiers and nipples and buy new ones.
  6. Boil daily all breast pump parts that touch the milk.
  7. Make sure other family members are free of thrush or other fungal infections. If they have symptoms, make sure they get treated.
To read much more on the Challenges of Breastfeeding please click on the link: http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/common-challenges/
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Fatherhood: The Guy’s Guide

3/28/2014

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Prepping for fatherhood is more than reading Dr. Spock, childproofing the electrical outlets, and buying a tiny baseball glove. That's the easy stuff; the important lessons are those that most first-time dads learn along the way. But you're in luck: We got fathers and parenting experts from around the country to let us in on some of their secrets so you'll be ready for fatherhood right from the start. Here's what they said you need to know.

Trust Yourself:You Matter

You will be more important to this baby than you will be to anyone else in the world. That idea can be intimidating -- and scary. For me, it hit home one day while my then-pregnant wife and I were crossing the street. She pointed out that my jaywalking habits would have to change when the baby arrived. Well of course, I said. When I had the stroller, I'd cross with the lights. But she meant I couldn't jaywalk when I was alone either; the baby would depend on my staying alive. Oh.

The point is, your baby needs you, and the quicker you get down to the business of raising her, the better. "It's on-the-job training -- not just for you but for the mother too," says Glenview, IL, psychologist Robert Frank, Ph.D., author of Parenting Partners. "Fathers are always afraid that they won't know what to do in that early time. But just jump in there, like you were pulling up a carpet or ripping down a wall. Jump in there and learn. The more you do it, the better you'll be at it."

You Have InstinctsRepeat after me: I am not clueless. I can do this. "Guys always think that Mom's going to have the corner on instincts," says Chuck Ault, a national trainer with Boot Camp for New Dads based in Irvine, CA. "But every guy becomes the expert on his baby." You will find your baby's most ticklish spots. You'll figure out how to get him to take a bottle. And, believe it or not, you'll even uncover secrets to soothing him that your wife will miss.

"My son had a lot of stomach pains when he was about 8 months old," Frank says, "and I would throw him over my shoulder so his stomach was right on my shoulder, with his head bobbing off my back. It looked dangerous, and my wife never would have done it -- but it made him feel better."

Parenting draws out your animal instincts as well. Just like the beasts of the jungle, you're hardwired to protect your child from harm. "I had to take my 3-month-old daughter to get some vaccinations," Ault says, "and in that two-minute period when I was all alone with her, knowing what was coming, my protective instinct kicked in. I really connected with her in a way I hadn't prior to that. You never know when it's going to happen."

Having said that, parenting is a partnership, and while you may be the king of roughhousing and peekaboo, your wife could be the queen of ointment rubbing or baby massaging. Don't be shy about asking her for guidance when it comes to something you haven't done before. "If the baby has a diaper rash, maybe she knows how to deal better," Frank says. "Do what she tells you to do if you feel really lost." After you do something once, you'll be able to do it even better the next time.

You Can Do It
You Really Are an Old SoftieMany guys wonder if they have the emotional makeup to be a good dad, and they want to know how to tap into their softer side. It's a simple three-step program: Look at your baby. Feel what you feel. Show it to your child. "Maybe I was a big softie going in, but I had never loved anything so much as that little baby when I first held him," says Stewart Pharis, a father of two from Cleveland Heights, OH.

But it's not love at first sight for every dad -- or mom. "The night he was born it hit me: Do I want this? Is this a mistake?" says Mike Hintze, a first-time father from Seattle. "You're afraid to express those feelings, even if they're fleeting. But it's normal. I don't think I'm a weirdo for having had those thoughts. And now it just blows me away how awesome it is, and how happy I am to get up in the middle of the night and hold him." In fact, now that his son, Nicholas, has started sleeping through the night, Hintze says, "Some days I'm actually disappointed. I almost looked forward to that time that was just for us."

You Can Work Hard and Still Be a Great Dad
Your job is more important than ever now because it's helping to support a new and shockingly expensive dependent. But you have some decisions to make: Can you keep working until 8 P.M. every night? Can you really leave a giggling baby behind to drag yourself to work on the weekends, even if you need the overtime pay?

"During the week, I feel guilty," says Lane Buschhorn of Austin, TX, father of 20-month-old Kaylen. "She's only awake for 35 or 40 minutes in the morning before I leave. I walk in the door at 6 p.m. and feed her. Then she goes to bed by 7, and she likes her 12 hours of sleep. I really don't see her much during the week -- and there's only 17 years left, then we shove her out the door. Now I understand why my mom was so upset when I went off to college."

"Work is one way we contribute to our families, but we don't want it to be our entire contribution," Ault says -- especially when kids are very young. "The only thing they want from you is face time. To give that, you can't be at work all the time."

There are some steps you can take toward making more time for your baby. Start by finding out your company's paid or unpaid paternal leave policies. If your company offers paid leave, don't be afraid to take it, says James Levine, director of the Fatherhood Project at the Families and Work Institute, in New York City, and author of Working Fathers. It's important to your family, and, in the long run, it's not likely to jeopardize your career. "I've been looking at this issue almost 30 years," Levine says. "There is no evidence to suggest that guys who take leave today will be less likely to advance in their job."

You also may not realize that you don't have to take your leave all at once, or even start it the day your baby is born. Levine suggests mapping out a schedule with your supervisor months before the baby's due date. If you have two weeks of leave (or even just saved-up vacation time) coming, maybe you can take it as ten Fridays off, giving your wife a little bit of extra relief, and keeping you from missing a single large block of time at work. Or, if your wife is returning to work after her own leave, start yours after hers.

Hintze took a month of leave that started at the tail end of his wife's. "Now I wish I had taken even more time," he says. "As a father, being the prime caretaker even for just a brief period of time was an extremely important experience."

And now, more than ever, staying at home full-time is a viable option for a father. Pharis was working as an attorney five years ago when his first son was born. After a few months, he says, "We realized we were not happy with both of us working." He and his wife decided he was the better choice to stay at home. "I probably have the longer fuse of the two of us," he says. "I'm glad we're living in a time when you can do whatever works for you as a couple."

Of course, some families don't have the luxury of leaving one parent at home. And while most workers at companies with at least 50 employees are entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act, many can't afford the lost pay. One suggestion Ault offers: If your child's happiest, most active time is early in the morning, when you're supposed to leave for work, find out if you can start coming in and leaving a little later or if you can switch your regular shift altogether. "A little time can go a long way," Ault says. "You don't have to give up everything to get some balance."

Your Life is Not Over: You Will Sleep With Your Wife Again
The physical ups and downs of your wife's pregnancy should be preparing you for a near future of inconsistent intimacy. You may also have to adjust to your wife putting the baby first sometimes, and you may have to suspend some of the activities that you'd enjoyed as a couple. But your marriage can survive having a baby -- this is one of the reasons you got together in the first place. You just need to work at it in ways you didn't before.

"In general, dads notice changes in the levels of intimacy sooner than moms," Ault says. "I hear so many fathers say, 'She's so tired, nothing's happening.'" He suggests this intimacy-restoring idea: Take the baby all day on a Saturday while your wife relaxes and recharges. Then, hire a sitter and have a Saturday night date. "You've got a refreshed, well-rested mom up for anything."

And yes, it's true: Your wife may look a little, well, softer after giving birth. But if you're like most couples, the change probably bothers her more than you. "It's stupid to lie to your wife and tell her you haven't noticed she's gained weight," says New York City-based marriage counselor Sharyn Wolf, C.S.W. "You can tell her the pounds don't matter to you. But the important point is they do matter to her. What you should say is, 'I love you, whether you lose the weight or not.'"

Reassure your wife in very specific ways, Ault advises: "I know one father who would start at the top of his wife's head and go all the way down to her feet, telling her everything he loved about her body. When he came to her stretch marks, he said, 'I love those because they remind me of the beautiful child we created together.'"

You Can Have a Baby -- and Your Old Friends
"We never used to understand why it was so hard to do things with our friends after they had kids," Buschhorn says. "But after you have a kid you finally get it. You'd really just rather spend time with them. Or, Friday night, when the kid goes to bed, you'd rather spend time with your wife."

Having a baby will change your old friendships, especially with "the guys." You may become a less reliable poker or pickup basketball player, but you don't have to let those relationships die. "I never think that having a baby is a death sentence for anything you want to do," Ault says. Negotiate with your wife to restore some guy time by taking the baby off her hands on a Saturday or Sunday in exchange for a Thursday or Friday guy night. "A lot of couples make that work," Ault says. "But you can't go overboard. The point is not getting back the life you had. We have to give up some things we like to embrace other things we like differently."

You Can't Prepare for Everything
Before your baby arrives, there's a lot you can do to get ready. But there are a few things for which you just can't prepare: the pure joy you'll feel when your child smiles at you, the sheer happiness that will overwhelm you when he gives you his first hug, and the tear-jerking love you'll feel when you watch him asleep in his crib. "I find myself sitting there for 15 minutes staring at him sleeping," Hintze says. "There's nothing else that I could stare at for 15 minutes and still have a stupid grin on my face."

Even with all the work, all the sleepless nights, the payoff is truly incredible. "We can imagine what it's like to lose guy time and to work less," Ault says. "But we cannot imagine how much fun we're going to have -- and how much we're going to love our children."

One of the first nights I really felt that joy was when my 2-week-old fell asleep on my chest as we watched the original film version of Planet of the Apes. Now tell me, how can you top that?

10 Things They Don't Tell New Dads1. You'll gain "sympathy weight" with your pregnant wife, so you can help each other with exercise and a healthy diet after the baby is born.

2. You'll miss your favorite team's games. The sooner you come to grips with that, the better, because you'll find no sympathy at home.

3. Keep your chest hair covered. Your baby will mercilessly pull it out.

4. There's almost nothing that can't be solved with a game of peekaboo.

5. Surprise! Your mother-in-law is about to come in handy. Really.


To read the rest of this article please click on the link: http://www.parenting.com/article/fatherhood-the-guys-guide
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New Dads: How to Bond With Your Baby.

3/1/2014

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Build a strong connection with your newborn before the arrival and in those early days of parenthood.

By Lisa Fields
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Hansa D. Bhargava, MD

You're a dad now! It's exciting, though parts of it may be new to you -- like changing a diaper or soothing your crying baby.

Many people focus on the mother-baby bond. But Pittsburgh pediatrician Mark Diamond says, "Other than the physical act of nursing, dads can do everything else: holding the baby, cuddling, soothing."  And the unique connection between a new dad and his baby is special.

Start Early

Regularly singing or reading books to your partner's pregnant belly may seem strange. But doing so establishes a strong connection before the baby is even born. Later on, your newborn may recognize the tone and pattern of each of your voices.

You can also strengthen your connection to your baby simply by being there for your partner. "Go to OB appointments, ultrasound visits, and breastfeeding classes," says pediatrician David Hill, author of Between Us Dads: A Father's Guide to Child Health. "Become intimately involved with the process because mothers who feel more supported by fathers tend to involve the fathers more with child-rearing later on. And more involved means more likely to bond."

If everything about babies is new to you, start getting comfortable with it now. Spend an afternoon with a new-dad friend and his baby before yours arrives. The experience can help you be confident enough to focus on getting to know your newborn -- starting in the delivery room.

Once your baby arrives, seek out advice from the nurses in the hospital during the first days of your child's life. Pediatrician Emily Borman-Shoap, medical director for newborn care at the University of Minnesota Amplatz Children's Hospital, says, "They can give practical tips on changing a diaper, swaddling a baby, burping a baby -- all the things that are wonderful for dads to do."

Worry Less

Don't assume that the mother will naturally have a stronger connection with the baby than you will. Rest assured that as long as you spend time with your baby, a bond will develop between the two of you. The bond may not seem apparent during the first few days when the mother-baby bond may already be thriving -- but it will be there.

"It's not a competition," Caroline DiBattisto, assistant professor of pediatrics at Georgia Health Sciences University, says. "Parents should support each other and work together as a team. It's important for dads to relax, be themselves, help Mom out, spend time with the baby, and enjoy this special time."

Pitching in will give you confidence as a new parent.

"I think a lot of dads feel nervous that babies are fragile and they're somehow going to do something wrong. But I promise they won't," Borman-Shoap says. "Don't worry about being perfect. The worst thing that happens if you change a diaper wrong is someone gets poop or pee on them. You wash it off, try again, and laugh about it. You need to get right in there and try it."

If your newborn was adopted or carried by a surrogate, you may feel that you should do something extra to encourage the bonding process. But this isn't necessary. "Children respond to comfort, to being loved," Diamond says. "They feel it. They sense it."

Get in Touch

During the first days and weeks of your baby's life, the power of touch can bring you closer. Hold your baby whenever possible. Stroke her back. Rock her gently in your arms. "Bonding has as much to do with contact as involvement," Hill says. "If you're in contact with your baby, the bond will occur."

Many hospitals encourage kangaroo care: placing your baby, wearing only a diaper, against your bare chest. "Lying skin to skin with your baby is great for moms and dads to do," Borman-Shoap says. "Babies are comforted by the up-and-down movement of your chest when you're breathing. They hear your heartbeat, and it helps them keep their body temperature regulated, especially for tiny babies in the NICU."

Wear Many Hats

Is your partner breastfeeding the baby? Obviously, you can't pinch hit there. But you can nourish your baby in other ways.

"Feeding is an important part of taking care of a baby, but it's not the only thing," DiBattisto says. "Dads can help with bathing, dressing, and changing diapers. They can read to, snuggle with, and hold their children. Dads can also pick up and bring the baby to Mom for feedings, which would be much appreciated in the middle of the night, then take the baby back for burping."

To continue reading please click not he link: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/new-dads-bonding-with-newborn-baby?page=2

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Toddlers (2-3 years of age)

2/20/2014

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Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking turns, playing make believe, and kicking a ball, are called developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (like jumping, running, or balancing).

Because of children’s growing desire to be independent, this stage is often called the "terrible twos." However, this can be an exciting time for parents and toddlers. Toddlers will experience huge thinking, learning, social, and emotional changes that will help them to explore their new world, and make sense of it. During this stage, toddlers should be able to follow two- or three-step directions, sort objects by shape and color, imitate the actions of adults and playmates, and express a wide range of emotions.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:
  • Set up a special time to read books with your toddler.
  • Encourage your child to take part in pretend play.
  • Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.
  • Help your child to explore things around her by taking her on a walk or wagon ride.
  • Encourage your child to tell you his name and age.
  • Teach your child simple songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider, or other cultural childhood rhymes.
  • Give your child attention and praise when she follows instructions and shows positive behavior and limit attention for defiant behavior like tantrums. Teach your child acceptable ways to show that she’s upset.


Child Safety First

Because your child is moving around more, he will come across more dangers as well. Dangerous situations can happen quickly, so keep a close eye on your child. Here are a few tips to help keep your growing toddler safe:

  • Do NOT leave your toddler near or around water (for example, bathtubs, pools, ponds, lakes, whirlpools, or the ocean) without someone watching her. Fence off backyard pools. Drowning is the leading cause of injury and death among this age group.
  • Encourage your toddler to sit when eating and to chew his food thoroughly to prevent choking.
  • Check toys often for loose or broken parts.
  • Encourage your toddler not to put pencils or crayons in her mouth when coloring or drawing.
  • Do NOT hold hot drinks while your child is sitting on your lap. Sudden movements can cause a spill and might result in your child’s being burned.
  • Make sure that your child sits in the back seat and is buckled up properly in a car seat with a harness.

To read more from this article please click on the link: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/toddlers2.html
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8 Surprising Reasons Your Baby's Crying

2/9/2014

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Your baby's been fed, her diaper is dry, and she seems well rested. So what's with the sudden whimpering? Although her insta-tears may seem baffling, keep in mind that babies always cry for a reason. To help you figure out her crankiness, we've compiled the top things your child may be trying to tell you, along with strategies for bringing back her smile.By Suzanne Schlosberg from Parents Magazine

"Would you please take off this sweater?"

Just because the air is a tad brisk outside doesn't mean your baby needs to be dressed for dogsledding in Siberia. Parents tend to overdress infants, who get cranky when they're hot and sweaty -- just like adults do.

The fix: Dress your baby in the same number of layers as you're wearing. If you're not sure whether she's too hot or too cold, put your hand on her tummy or back to gauge her body temperature. "A baby's feet or cheeks can often seem cool even when she's comfortable," says Charlotte Cowan, MD, a pediatrician in Boston..

"Can't we all just get along?"Babies don't understand sentences such as, "I can't believe you forgot to pay the Visa bill," or "Why can't you ever take out the trash without being reminded?" But they can sense when Mom and Dad are fighting -- and they don't like it. "If there's tension or yelling, a baby can pick up on that and may become fussy," says Ellen Schumann, MD, a pediatrician at the Marshfield Clinic, in Marshfield, Wisconsin.

The fix: Occasional arguments with your husband will happen (especially given the intense demands of caring for a new baby). But try to express your feelings calmly so that you create a consistent, soothing environment. Save the heated discussions for after your child goes to bed.


"I'm totally stressed out!"

Too much noise, movement, or bright light -- at the mall, a crowded coffee shop, or a family party -- can drive a baby to tears. And after a point, too much stimulation of any kind -- even being left in a doorway jumper for 20 minutes or surrounded by too many toys -- can overwhelm her.

The fix: Every child has a different breaking point, so pay close attention to how your baby handles commotion. Keep visits to busy stores short, eat at restaurants in the off-hours (when they're quieter), and introduce new toys -- even noise-free ones -- in small doses. Also schedule some quiet time after an outing so your revved-up child can settle down.


"My tummy hurts!"

There's no shortage of reasons why your baby might have stomach discomfort. He could have a painful buildup of gas. He might be constipated. Formula-fed babies can develop a milk sensitivity or a milk allergy, both of which can cause cramps along with mucous poop. Or your child could have reflux, in which food contents from the stomach splash back into the esophagus.

The fix: First try burping your baby more often. You can also reduce gas by massaging his tummy gently or pedaling his legs. If you're nursing, try using one breast for the entire feed instead of switching. The milk that comes out first is higher in lactose than the "hind milk" that follows. For bottle-fed babies, switch to a low-flow nipple so your child swallows less air when he drinks. If that doesn't help, take a poopy diaper to your pediatrician and ask whether you should try a hypoallergenic or soy-based formula. Don't panic if your baby spits up on occasion, but speak to your doctor if the symptoms become chronic or your child seems in distress. You may need to position him upright after meals, thicken his milk with rice cereal, or, if he has gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), give him acid-reducing medication.


"Ouch, I'm being pinched!"

Your baby could have a hair or a loose thread wrapped around her toe or finger, cutting off the circulation and causing pain and swelling. It's more common than many parents realize, and you've got to catch it early or your child might have permanent tissue damage. Other possibilities: Your baby's skin is irritated by a label or a zipper, or the car-seat belt or stroller straps are chafing her.

The fix: Undress your baby, and inspect her toes and fingers. If you find a hair, try unwrapping it, cutting it with little scissors, or using a small amount of a hair-removing product such as Nair. "If you have a boy, keep in mind that a hair can even get wrapped around the penis," says Dr. Schumann. Also check zippers and adjust any too-tight straps.


"I'm feeling lonely over here."

Between 6 and 9 months, your baby will learn that he's a separate being from you, which is good. But he may start to cry as soon as you leave the room because he misses you. Which is good -- and bad.

The fix: It's fine to leave your baby in an activity center so you can change a load of laundry. But if you notice this momentary separation is triggering a meltdown, stop what you're doing and show him a little love. "Sometimes just seeing you or being cuddled will stop the tears," says Dr. Cowan. A gentle massage or some light pats on the back will also help reassure him that when you go away, you'll always come back. If you've tried every trick in the book-- the swing, music, his favorite stuffed animal -- it may be easier to simply take your baby with you to the laundry room. Comfort yourself with this thought: He'll outgrow his separation anxiety by around 15 months.

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